Visit from a priest

Yesterday I took a concrete step towards entering full communion. I invited Fr David, the local Ordinariate priest over to come and talk with my wife and I about my decision. He had given me a copy of Evangelium to read through and I also had the Compendium to the Catechism of the Catholic Church. My wife had also looked through the Evangelium and we had talked briefly.

To be honest, as I read through it, I realised that the formation that I had put myself through over the last few years had brought to the place of accepting what was in there - there really wasn't anything that I had a major struggle over. That said, this was painting the Catholic faith and the teaching of the Church in very broad strokes and there are some issues that I know I need to wrestle with.

Fr David, a retired Anglican priest and recent convert himself, brought with him the balance of commitment, clarity - especially explaining the obligations of my possible decision, a healthy perspective on doubt and conscience (you can take the man out of Anglicanism, but you cannot take Anglicanism out of the man!) and a welcoming and practical spirit. We were able to sit down and talk for an hour and a half over ay concerns, worries and questions - a time that I think my wife found helpful in what my decision meant for her and the family.

The next step is to do some preparation classes with Fr David (a sort of shortened RCIA for Ordinariate converts) with a view to entry in the next few months.

Next post I'll continue with my journey to this point ...

Roots and Ritual

One evening my wife and I were listening to two CDs in our little flat in Canterbury. We had been married about a year and were attending a Charismatic church filled with middle-class post-graduates and students. First, we put on the Michael Card 3 CD set, Ancient Faith which sets some of the Old Testament to music, then we switched to the latest release (at the time) by Folk-Prog outfit Iona. Journey Into the Morn is an exploration of the heritage of what was becoming known as Celtic Christianity in the UK. With ancient prayers and hymns it stirred something deep within us.

Our conversation afterwards was about the need and desire to have 'roots' to our faith. To know that we were part of a tradition and community stretching back 2,000 years. This was a deeply profound moment between the two of us. I went to the local SPCK bookshop the next day and bought a Celtic Daily Prayer book and we started praying morning and evening prayer from it every day. The daily readings connected us with something that was missing from our Church experience.

Around this time a lovely older couple we had met invited us to go to their Church and have lunch with them later. A wonderful, caring and intelligent couple we had an amazing time. Their Church was an anglo-catholic church with a small but committed congregation. This was the first time I had ever seen the Gospel processed to the centre of the Church and censed. I was taken aback by the reverence shown to Scripture and the level of meaning in the ritual of the Church. It was, without doubt one of the  most spiritual and reverent services I had been to.

We were left with a gap between our church membership and our private devotions, something that would continue for a while yet.

A friend in Canterbury

For centuries pilgrimages ended in Canterbury. For me, it was where it all started.

Interior of Cathedral Church of St Thomas of Canterbury

It was seventeen years ago, almost to the day, that walked into St Thomas' Cathedral. I was recently married and studying, whilst also working at the Anglican Cathedral helping the multitudinous tourists (and occasional pilgrim) that passed through. Across the road from the citadel-like seat of the Archbishop of Canterbury was the much more modest Catholic Cathedral, dedicated to Canterbury's most famous martyr and saint, St Thomas Beckett.

An escape from the unruly french school children and loud American tourists across the road, St Thomas' was a sanctuary - set apart for prayer and devotion. I used to spend hours sat in there, sometimes praying, sometimes pondering what my spiritual and practical future held. Catholicism seemed so foreign (almost literally) to me. The statues, the relics, the adoration of the Sacrament - they seemed to belong to another religion to the restrained, choral and particularly English aspect of anglicanism.

One day, I decided to find out more about, and grabbed the nearest thing to a priest I could see - a brown-habited figure who had been praying in the same pew as me and was leaving just as I did. Brother Peter was a Capuchin Friar at a house in Canterbury and became a good friend over the next few years. I spent lots of time at the Friary, and he came to our small flat in the city centre. I was able to ask him many question, but what impressed me most was his humility and clear godliness. Here was a Catholic, and a religious at that, exhibiting such faith and belief that I was left in no doubt that there was a living stream of faith running deep within Catholicism.

He left eventually, going to Ireland to study to be a priest and I lost contact with him. Before he left he gave me a small packet containing a rosary and a book explaining how to use it. For years I kept it safe but didn't have the courage to give it a go, but it has now become a precious item to me - something I use every day.

So, why didn't I become a Catholic then? My faith and my cultural identity were very much mixed up - as I was exploring my Englishness (even though I was part-Irish), I found Catholicism too foreign, not English enough. But this was the start of the journey ...

Why I am starting this blog

Like many people, spirituality has been a journey, rather than a fixed mark in my life. This experience has led me to the point where I am in the position of considering becoming a Catholic - big C, in communion with the See of Rome - and that!

This isn't a decision I am taking lightly - indeed it has been 17 years since I first considered such a move - but it seems the time is drawing near.

It also isn't without some degree of trepidation that I face this - there are many unanswered questions and a lot of practical issues that I face. My aim here is to create a space where I can write about and debate these things (even if it feels like an echo chamber!).

Over the coming weeks and months some of the things I will be discussing include:

• Family issues - being a Catholic parent with non-Catholic spouse and children
• Prayer and spirituality - what is working, and what I struggle with
• Doctrine & ethics - sexuality, contraception, gender ... all the easy topics
• Church politics - does the Church act and look like Christ wants it to?

I will be recounting my own experiences, hopefully finding a sense of peace and clarity along the way.